My Partner Has Low Self Esteem . Help!

So you think your partner has low self esteem? Let's Talk About It.

8 Signs Your Partner Has Low Self Esteem

  1. Obsessive over your whereabouts
  2. Possessive over you
  3. Controlling of your time and activities
  4. Constantly comparing themselves to others
  5. Easily angered and triggered

6. Paranoid, without cause, that you're cheating.

7. Worried that you are going to break-up with them

8. Jealous overreaction to all interactions with the opposite sex that you have.

What is self esteem? It is merely an opinion of how you see yourself. There are two types namely high self esteem and low self esteem and between the two, it is better to have the first. This is because high self-esteem enables you to love yourself for who you are while low self esteem doesn’t make you grow as a person and make you successful.  

But where do you get self-esteem? Well as a child, you get it from your parents. If they raised you right and praised you for your achievements, chances are you will have a positive outlook of yourself and life. If you happen to be raised by parents who are not very caring, well you won’t see the positive qualities you have and will have an angry outlook at the world.

You can also get this from your friends and your peers because sometimes, how we feel about ourselves is based on the perception of others. If you are able to ignore the negative sentiment, you are fine because you don’t let such words affect you.

In the end though, your self esteem comes from inside you. To figure that out, you can ask yourself some simple questions. Do you like who you are? Are you happy? Do you think you are a good person? Most of the time, the answer is yes even if sometimes you have doubts about yourself.

If your partner has low self esteem, they have to get rid of those doubts. They have to accept their faults and realize that they are not the only one that has this problem.

It's not your fault if your partner has low self-esteem. It's awesome that you want to help, but it isn't something you can fix for them. Everyone has a few flaws, everyone feels insecure about something that they want to get rid of.

What's important is they must have the willingness to change in order to improve themselves. That's not something you can solve for them if your partner has low self esteem.

If Your Partner Has Low Self Esteem Here Is What They Can Do

For those that need help, well they can get counseling to improve their self-esteem or listen to self-help tapes that are designed to do the same thing as well.

Another technique which won’t cost them a thing will be to write down on a piece of paper 50 things they like about themselves and then cherishing it. Since we all grow and change every single day, they should try to write down one good thing they like about themselves daily so they can look up and realize that they are not a bad person.

When a person has high self esteem, they are less likely to do anything destructive to themselves or to their partner. This is because you have a positive outlook about life and are always optimistic about the future. With that, you can probably say you can get anything you want out of life when you have this quality but remember not to confuse it with being too overconfident because there are two different things.

Another benefit of high self esteem is being able to have an easier time handling problems and resisting negative pressures. But we should not forget that is something that we inherit and not something we are born with.

"The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too."
- Ernest Hemingway


Relationship TOOLKIT

  1. People With Crab Bucket Mentality
  2. Phases of a Relationship


Self Esteem TOOLKIT

  1. 1. Dealing With Low Self Esteem
  2. Boost Your Self Esteem
  3. Raise Self Esteem

My partner has low self esteem help continued...

More signs your partner has low self esteem.

Nobody is shielded from low self esteem. However, it is important to differentiate between feelings of low esteem from sadness, or from the effects of a string of bad days. There are a couple of symptoms of low self esteem that you can look out for if you feel that you or a loved one may be suffering from low self esteem.

First, it is important to realize that unlike sadness or feeling like you woke up from the wrong side of the bed does not constitute low self esteem. This is because psychologists often consider self esteem as a persisting self-conception. This enduring self-image can permeate into a person’s every activities, as it is at the core of a person’s conception of his or her self-worth.

One of the first symptoms is constant self-deprecation. You may find that a person with low self esteem will easily say bad things about his or her self, passing comments even about how they are not worth the time or effort that people give them. They may also talk about their incapacity to fulfil their duties.

Mypartner has low self esteem help continued...

In addition to self-deprecation, people suffering from low self esteem will constantly express unhappiness about their bodies and how they look. Poor self-image is one of the most telling signs of low self esteem. They may constantly be paranoid and sensitive about what people think about how they look. What’s worse, some of them may respond to this bad self-image through some form of eating disorder.

People who suffer from low self esteem may be obsessed with order, forcing themselves to comply by an impossible standard of perfection in whatever task they are involved in.

This may make them work slower than others, and may make them more vulnerable to feelings of not doing well because of their own impossible expectations. This feeling of failure (despite the fact that they did not fail, except by their own impossible, perfectionist standards) helps further feed their bad perception of their own self-worth.


Relationship TOOLKIT

  1. People With Crab Bucket Mentality
  2. Phases of a Relationship


Self Esteem TOOLKIT

  1. Dealing With Low Self Esteem
  2. Boost Your Self Esteem
  3. Raise Self Esteem

My partner has low self esteem help continued...

They may also be extremely eager to please, depending very heavily on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They find no pleasure in completing and succeeding in tasks unless they are recognized by the people whose opinions they believe matter.

They may even be all too eager to compare themselves to other people they have high regard to. However, it is important to note that these comparisons, for them, fulfil the necessary function of highlighting what they lack and what flaws they possess.

While there are those who withdraw from society as a result of their low self esteem, there are those who respond by uninhibited anger against themselves or other people.

They may express anger either by hurting themselves or the people around them, even if these people are not those who triggered feelings of anger. After all, because of low self esteem, these people begin to hate themselves and the people around them. They are also likelier to suddenly explode in anger over very little issues when they feel that they are being cornered or humiliated.

By identifying the symptoms of low self esteem, you will be able to determine the best course of action in order to appropriately respond. If you or someone you know scores positively in terms of these symptoms, then it may be good to seek help as soon as possible from a psychologist or therapist.

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  • National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE)
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255


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