I Have No Self Confidence. Help!

What can I do if I have no self confidence?

Easy Steps to Gaining Confidence

Building confidence is a necessary exercise for many of us. If self-confidence does not come naturally, building it up takes deliberate, conscious effort. While no step-by-step program is perfect, following are some steps that may help you build up your sense of confidence.

Help I Have No Self Confidence # 1: Get Your Goals Out of Your Head And On Paper

I avoided this for the longest time and I am a writer-so no judgement here. It works. You have to have goals and you have to write them down. Make a list of your goals, long and short term, and then below each goal write the steps it will take to get there. For example, if one of your goals is to launch a website to earn money, your list might look like this:

Example of Goals For Launching A Website:
a. Reserve domain
b. Set up hosting
c. Contact web designer and discuss layout
d. Write a short ebook as a promotional giveaway
e. Write content and newsletters for site to cover several months after launch

"If you focus on what you left behind, you will never be able to see what lies ahead."

-Gusteau (Ratatouille)

Whether it's relationships, business ventures, or self-improvement, writing your goals and their necessary steps can make those goals much less formidable and much more doable. That alone helps you feel more confident in moving forward.

Help I Have No Self Confidence #2: Stop Making Comparisons

While it's good to have aspirations toward self-improvement, constantly comparing yourself to the best of the best in your realm can get discouraging. For example, if you'd like to have a talk radio show or Podcast, you might be inspired by high-profile radio hosts; being inspired by them is fine, but beating yourself up because you are not exactly like they are - complete with millions of listeners - will only discourage you.

Help I have No Confidence: Committing To Self Care By Building A Positive Self Image

Help I Have No Self Confidence #3: Commit To Building A Positive Self-Image

It seems that when you are just certain you are going to fail before you try something, you are more likely to fail when you do try it. If you have a negative self-image and think you just can't achieve anything, it's likely that you won't - thus underscoring this false impression about yourself.

Stop listening to the negative inner voice and instead tell yourself that you can achieve your goals and, even if you fail, it's not because you are a bad person or because you didn't try. 

Help I have No Confidence: Knowing Yourself

Help I Have No Self Confidence #4:

To Be Your Authentic Self You Have to Get to Know Yourself

This means spending some quiet time thinking or writing in a journal - some quiet time by yourself in which you assess your strengths, weaknesses,and personality.

What are your character traits? What quirks and talents do you have? Pretend like you are being interviewed and that the interviewer is trying to get to know you.

What questions would they ask?

Help I Have No Self Confidence #5: You Won't Find Your Identity In The Media

For a while, it might be good to turn off the TV and put down the magazines.

The perfect-people images found in the media can be discouraging for those who are struggling with self-confidence.

If you're saying, "I Have No Confidence", That Is A Mindset and The Good News Is You Can Change It

If you suffer from low self-confidence, you might be lacking a growth mindset and actually stuck in a negative fixed mindset that is affecting the way you think about yourself and, ultimately, your self-esteem.

Negative mindsets tend to have a lot of "always" or "never" talk, creating a sense of entrapment and hopelessness. Here are some examples of negative mindsets   that cause anxiety and negative self talk that can lead to low confidence.

"I will never get it right."

Thinking this way can keep you from trying again, or even trying something for the first time. It makes it only too easy to give up.

"Nobody understands what this is like."

When you lack self-confidence, a lot of times you assume that everyone else has it together and you're the odd man or woman out. You may feel isolated, and feel as if others have their lives together while you are still floundering.

"I am totally useless."

When you lack confidence, you may feel like you don't have anything of value to contribute, whether it's to your workplace, relationships, or something else.

"I am a complete failure."

No one fails at every single thing; but to a person with low self-confidence, it can sure seem that way. You may feel like everything you've ever tried has failed, even if this is not true.

"I could never do that."

Do you see someone with a successful lifestyle you wish you had? If you lack self-confidence, you may have the above reaction. Instead of being inspired and wanting to create that lifestyle for yourself, you look at that person and get depressed, thinking you could never have what they have.

How To Overcome The I Have No Self Confidence Mindset

How Can Low Self Esteem Mindsets Be Overcome?

In order to overcome these destructive mindsets that lead to low confidence, it's necessary to reprogram your thought processes. You will need to pay attention to your negative self-talk and immediately change it to something positive.

For example, instead of "I will never get it right," you could stop that thought in its tracks and think instead, "I have trouble with this, but if I keep trying and seek out the right help, I know I can succeed." Rather than, "I could never do that," think, "I would love to do that! There's no reason why I can't have that lifestyle if I work at it."

You may need therapy and/or counseling to overcome these mindsets. But like everything else in life, you can do it if you set realistic goals and have confidence in yourself!


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