Building self confidence in yourself, no matter how wise or careful you are in life, requires mental toughness. You can never be able to lead a life that is completely free of negative events. You are bound to make mistakes, and you also do not have full control over how much of the external world can have an impact on your life.
In most cases, negative events shake us probably because they disrupt our peace and plans, they often come unexpectedly, and sometimes going past the hurdles presented by these events may seem impossible.
When negative events befall us, we can go from being sure about our future and plans to doubting every move we make. We can feel invaluable, that we have failed and can never get things right, and that we are weak and not smart enough especially when we look at others and they seem to be doing well. We also start questioning things including those that have sustained us from the beginning of our journey.
For example, where we used to believe that everything has its own time and things will be fine when the time is right, we begin to doubt it and ourselves. We feel as if we are not doing enough to succeed and our beliefs and hope can feel as though they are nothing but excuses we make to cover for our failures and to remain comfortable in our weaknesses.
It is important to note, however, that most if not all people who are succeeding today and the ones around us whom we have chosen to use as our standard of success have gone through that phase and, some are still facing it yet they continue to go forward. What threatens our confidence is not the negative events themselves. It is our mindset. No amount of negative events can shake the confidence of someone who is mentally fit.
Here is what we need to keep in mind if you are to maintain a level head when faced with negative events:
Prioritizing our mental health is equally as important as any of our dreams. Our mental health allows us to process negative situations with a clear head and mental power that further allow us to remain in control as opposed to being controlled by events.
When we are mentally healthy, what people say or do to us cannot harm our self-esteem. Mentally healthy people learn from negatives identified either by themselves of by others and ignore what is irrelevant to them.
Negative situations can help us boost our confidence. When we press on in difficult times and do not yield to negative energy, we put ourselves in a position to unleash our potential and discover things about ourselves that we would not have known if we had remained in our comfort zones. We also develop a positive mentality and learn that there is no obstacle too big for us.
We should always remember that negative events are not always a reflection of who we really are. Some events come as a result of our own doing and some that are caused by forces beyond our control.
Although we can be the reason for some negative events, we should not let them shake our confidence because our mistakes and poor decisions also help us learn and we all make mistakes. Learn from mistakes and apply what you have learned. We should only start worrying when we repeat the same mistakes all over again.
Allowing events to make you doubt yourself does not solve the problem or lessen its impact. Instead, things will only go from ‘bad to worse’. You allow situations to instill in you fear of failure and the belief that you cannot do things right which keeps you from trying harder, taking on new challenges, and reaching your full potential.
Learn to understand that some things are not your fault and where you are responsible for the negative event, remind yourself that you have the power to solve it and improve things.
You should always be ready to challenge yourself and be determined to win no matter what. Determination, persistence and monitored strategies are a sure path to success. Where confidence seems to fail us, determination and persistence keep us going until we regain our confidence. Learn to find your way around obstacles keep moving.
Understand things may not always go as planned and accepting the possibility of challenges can save us from losing confidence when things go wrong. Obstacles are part of life and the fact that we do not live in a vacuum should always remind us that other people's mistakes can also cause problems for us.
Celebrate wins and make it a habit to record them in your journal. They will always be a reminder of how strong in the past and give you confidence that you can still win again.
Do not overthink. Overthinking is one easy way of losing confidence. It puts you in a position where you link unrelated events where things did not go as planned and convince you that there is something wrong with you. It creates a negative atmosphere.
Fear is pretty much a human condition. It helps us be aware and careful. But only in small doses and up to a certain extent. The same goes for doubt also. Given the right amount of it, doubt helps us look for other possible ways or perspectives. A person without fear or doubt is really dangerous, sometimes (if not most times) to themselves.
However, some people always dwell in the valley of fear and doubt. They let these two imposters cripple them into inaction. They practice avoidance, letting opportunities go because they are scared of failure or they are not confident in their capabilities. In order to confidently pursue our dreams and goals, we need to replace fear and doubt with qualities like self-confidence and boldness. How can we effectively replace the undesirable with the better ones?
The first method to get rid of fear and doubt is to stop giving excuses. When we find ourselves in situations where we are about to justify our inaction, just pause and stop it. Excuses or explanations are a method of avoiding to engage. Stop and reflect.
Look deep inside yourself to find the real truth behind your excuse. Know that there won't ever be the right or ideal moment to do something. In fact, the only ideal time is Now. So jump into it, do not buy into your own lies and excuses.
Another way to get yourself out of the fear and doubt prison is to try out things outside your comfort zone. When we constantly try doing things we are not so good at, we learn to treat failure as a lesson, not an enemy.
Failure only means we just have to try and approach the problem from another angle. So do not be crippled by the thought of losing. Failure is proof that you tried and you will do better next time since you now have some experience in that particular area.
Whenever you start finding yourself constantly self-doubting, stop asking for approval from others. This reinforces your independent decision-making process. Constantly seeking out approval or validation from others will forever condemn you to the prison of self-doubt and debilitating fears.
Be sure of what you do, of the decision and actions you make. Take confident strides towards the actions and goals you have set for yourself.
One of the reasons why fear grips mankind is that they do not have enough knowledge of the things they want to do. As Marie Curie said, "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." Go out there and gain more knowledge of the things you want to do.
Read, learn, and never stop learning no matter your age. The more you learn, the more your fear of something disappears. Always seek to understand.
It is also very useful to know yourself, while you are at it. Practice mindfulness and be introspective. Learn to know your strengths and weaknesses in life. When you find your weakness, try as much as you can to fill up the chasm with enough practical knowledge. This way, when faced with tasks, you will not cower in fear and self-doubt.
Try as hard as you can to be a person of action; despise stagnation. People who have too much fear and self-doubt always stand back and run away from active engagement. This means that in the end they always remain where they are, never progressing. Only by doing will you be able to overcome this fear.
It is essential to have a plan in life, to have goals and a direction. When we have a goal in mind, and when we focus on it, our minds will not cower at obstacles. Do things that you are passionate about and always be enthusiastic about what you are doing and what you want to achieve.
This spirit of focus, passion, and enthusiasm will help get rid of those unnecessary fears and doubts. So, starting today, write down your plans. Be sure of what you want to achieve in life. This will go a long way.
Finally, always surround yourself with people who are confident and who motivate you to action. They will constantly show you how it's done and give you the platform to actually do things for yourself. Choose your peers and mentors well. In this way, you are guaranteed to effectively replace fear and doubt.
Do not let fear and doubt rule you. Do let opportunities pass you by. Have a plan and work on it. Always be in the moment and always be daring to try new things enough to jump into action when the moment arises. As Lee-Ann Womack sang in her spiritually-uplifting song, "Never settle for the path of least resistance."
Cultivating, maintaining, and showing confidence can be difficult due to the failures, setbacks, disappointments, as well as misfortunes we encounter in life.
Nonetheless, maintaining and showing confidence is the only way of living a happier and more fulfilling life. It is the best way of ensuring you always go for what you want and achieve anything you desire.
Positive self-affirmations can build your confidence. They can give you the strength you need to keep moving forward when you can’t, give you a great sense of self-worth, and encourage you to get back up no matter how many times you fall.
Using self-affirmations to build your confidence is a great way of boosting your self-esteem, showing confidence around other people, and remaining confident no matter what you face. So, start your mornings by saying positive words to yourself, believing what you say, and acting on it.
The main reason why self-affirmations work is that the mind always believes what you say and you always act on what you believe. Expressions like “I can do this” and “I will make it happen” convince your brain that you can do anything, find solutions to problems, and nothing is too hard to fix.
Your words can cause your mind to start coming up with practical solutions to problems, give you a different outlook on things, enable you to take the next step, and keep you thinking “I have what it takes” and in turn, increase your self-confidence.
“I can achieve anything I want in life.”
“I can improve.”
“My skills and abilities can bring the change I desire to see.”
“I exist for a purpose. “
The most important step toward building confidence in yourself, working on your goals, and achieving them is by believing you have what it takes to get there. Believing you can achieve anything you want in life ignites your faith and boosts your confidence.
You keep improving because you are confident and
confidence in your ability to achieve. So, wake up each morning, look in
the mirror, and say “I can achieve anything I want” and“Nothing can
hold me back.” Doing this encourages you to take the next step and keeps
you focused on your abilities.
"This is hopeless” and “I have failed too many times” are self-sabotaging words that have the power of convincing you that you can never improve or progress. Self-sabotaging words can lower your self-esteem and discourage you from pursuing your dreams or seeing beyond what is happening.
So, avoid them and
remind yourself that there is always room for improvement. Saying “I can
improve” and believing it shifts your attention from what you can’t do
to what you can do. It keeps you looking for ways of improving,
performing at your best, and slowly but effectively builds your
Low self-esteem is often caused by self-doubt and building confidence in yourself to change your situation seems impossible when you don’t have faith in your ability to turn things around. So, stop questioning your abilities and trust that you can bring about the change you desire to see by using your skills.
Having the assurance that your skills can bring
about positive change in your life empowers you to work and builds your
“My failures aren’t an indication of inadequacy because I always grow from them.”
Realizing and acknowledging that failing doesn’t mean you are incompetent helps you to eliminate your fear of failure, learn from your failures, and also grow from them. Identifying valuable lessons that come with each failure will give you the motivation you need to continue trying after experiencing drastic failures.
It will build your confidence and
empower you to keep moving forward, keep believing in your dreams, and
trust your ability to achieve anything you want.
that failures provide the opportunity to learn, grow, and rectify
mistakes will encourage you to work on your goals and always see things
One thing that steals your confidence or zeal in life
is that you haven’t realized your purpose yet and so you feel you are
just drifting along. Knowing your purpose and understanding that you
exist for a purpose builds confidence, inspires you to act on what you
believe in, and keeps you coming up with ways of living your purpose and
fulfilling your destiny.
Cultivate, maintain, and show your confidence by reminding yourself that you exist for a purpose, there is a lot you need to accomplish, and you matter. Recognize that no one can fill in your shoes and do a better job than you and begin looking for ways of filling your shoes the best way possible.
Meaning boost your self-esteem by not only discovering your purpose but by taking the necessary steps toward fulfilling it, and ensuring you live the way you are supposed to each day.
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